08 October 2010

Researching online dating

So it has been an abnormal couple of weeks in the house of Moose. We got some sad news that Moose's right eye had to be removed and went into quick surgery. He's been recovering like a champ since and we are waiting to get the cone taken off as well as the stitches out so we can feel like our routine is back. It's been frustrating for both of us at times, but we're happy knowing he'll be pain-free and back to regular play before too long.

Until then, we have to be careful about running, jumping, and becoming too active. That and taking the rest of the antibiotic and finding sneaky ways for him to swallow the little pills.

BUT...just because we have been a little out of sorts and things have not been as usual around here does NOT mean that we haven't had some indoor entertainment. This time around it came in the form of an online dating site.

Now, first of all, this business with the site came about when a friend of mine informed me that she has signed up for one.

"Hey, I joined this dating site."

"You did? Ok, well, it's a new avenue for you so I guess we'll see how it goes."

"Yeah, but I'm kinda nervous and scared."

"Why? It's gotta be easy, right? You can delete or ignore anyone who you're not interested in."

"Yeah, but it's still a little scary. Will you get on it with me?"

"What? Why? You want me to help you stalk boys?"

"Yeah, you can tell me which ones sound good. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeze? Oh, and it's totally free. You can communicate with people and you don't have to pay to sign up."

"Oh my gosh. Ok, but I'm only doing this for you. I'm not going to communicate or do whatever, this is to help you filter through the mess."

So as we chatted on facebook, I proceeded to go to the site and fill out the necessary info to get myself signed up. I didn't put up a picture and this was my "About Me" information:

"I keep myself in shape and will start my PhD next fall. Don't BS me with how much you workout."

Needless to say, with a picture-less profile and information as detailed about me as that little sentence, I was bound to have the boys flocking to get to me. Then I got a message (a totally generic one for sure) from the creator of the site saying that he'd reviewed my profile and it looked "perfect" and that I was ready to start meeting some good people! I should have emailed him back saying, "No picture. Wee bit of info. For all you know, I'm fatal attraction stepping onto your site. I'm 'bout ready to boil some rabbits and chase men with a large knife."

After I got myself signed up, I told my friend that I was ready to check out some guys for her. But first she wanted me to check out her profile and give her feedback to its content. I did and it was good. It was all authentic and just who she is. Then she asked me to look at a couple of guys and let her know what I thought. So I did.

But then she also noticed that I had no picture. She got mad and said that it wasn't fair if she had one up and I didn't. Really???? I'm just being supportive and helping to weed out some creeps. After some badgering I quickly put up a pic just to appease her.

We proceeded again to check out guys for her. She had been contacted by several and some we sent packing and a couple we decided were good enough to at least get to know a little. No harm, really, she could block any of those she felt were of no interest.

Then all of a sudden I started to get messages. One guy was really smooth. I couldn't help but jump up and down with excitement. His message read, "I just logged off and your pretty face just popped up on my computer are you teasing me?"

Oh gosh, cute guy with the cute line. I just got a little light-headed. Let me just race to reply and we'll get on the road to true love. Not long after that he sent 2 more messages asking me if we could "chat" and the other said that he kept running up to the bookstore to check his email hoping I'd responded.

I did write back: Ok, first of all, it's a little creepy that you keep sending me messages and I hadn't replied. Second, stop running back and forth. You'll only find I'm not sending you sweet messages and you'll most likely pass out anyway from lack of oxygen with all that running. Go hydrate yourself.

Another one wrote, "Acctually [sic], I work out every monday, wednesday, and friday. I'm currently doing Wendler's 5/3/1 routine. What do you do? lift weights? bodybuilding?"

Now this little guy obviously did not read my in-depth profile in which I clearly stated not to tell me how much you workout. Durrrrrrrrrr. But out of curiosity I looked at his profile. I'm 5'9".....he's 5'4". I like to wear heels sometimes that make me around 6'2" or 6'3". I'm guessing he wanted to go out with me so that I may have a walking end table by my side upon which to place my drink. I should probably bring a coaster, too.

Another guy wrote, "If you're in such good shape then why don't you post a picture from the neck down?"

Me: If I felt the need for your under-height weasley ass to tell me whether or not I'm in shape then I'll be sure to join some other trashy site. I know I'm in shape.

I didn't hear from him again. Wonder why.

After some time my friend told me that she was talking with a guy she met on the site. She asked me to go to his profile and once again give my feedback. I did. He seemed decent enough and I said, "Well, you really have nothing to lose and if you find he's creepy, just block him and move on. You have a bit of safety with the online thing that way."

Now, one thing with this site is that apparently you can see who has visited your profile. I was not aware of this at the time. Then my friend says, "He just asked me if I sent my friend to check out his profile."

"What? How does he know?"

"Ummmm, well, I may have a photo up on my profile that includes you and me."

"What????? Seriously, the whole point of this stalking thing is that I be undercover and sort of hang out in the bushes while you interact. I was only to give a few whistles and clicks in case I felt that any of them were creepers. Did we not go over this in Undercover Training 101??"

"I'm sorry! It's just a cute picture of us and I like it, so I put it up there! And he laughed about it anyway, he said you're a good wingman for helping me out."

"Well, whatever the case is, you have to allow me to run incognito during this operation. How can we claim victory when you're blowing my disguise?"

After all of that nonsense, she seems to have found someone to communicate with outside of the dating site. If it turns into everlasting love, I'll probably be the flower girl or the organist or the flutist at the wedding. Moose will decorate his cone with frills and flowers and grind out the chicken dance.

1 comment:

  1. I love the coaster boy!!! heeheeheeheeheehee