I'm sitting in Starbucks off 119th Street reading/researching for a paper. I've been here for a couple of hours already and think that I may friend the barista on facebook. Let's call her Little Miss Sunshine. This is not because I recently viewed that awesome movie with the unforgettable dance scene at the end, but because LMS brings nothing but sunshine to all the Leawoodites who happen to saunter in for their daily latte. And before I proceed, I just need to remind everyone that this little bubble known as Johnson County has been identified as one of the most educated regions in the nation. I'm pretty sure that once I get my own boob job I'll also grow smarter.
So, Sunshine likes to strike up some good conversation with all customers. She's really very sweet back there behind that little counter whipping up a skinny vanilla latte for all these already highly emaciated beacons of beauty. She likes to compliment people on their shirt, their hair, and whatever else she finds pleasing. I bet she was bred in the Starbucks Stockyard for the very purpose of what I am observing today. If she was also fed hormones and a good mix of corn/milo mash, she can go long periods without eating or sitting or even having to use the restroom. She's a machine.
But one thing Sunshine lacks, and makes me want to educate her, is the ability to correctly use the word "stellar". As defined by Daniel Webster, a man very near and dear to my heart, the origin of the word stellar is latin (just like everything else under the sun). It is from late latin stellaris, or the latin word stella, which means star. We are talking about a word that is synonymous with words like this: cosmic, astral, universal, supreme, galactic. But it also has meaning that can be similar to words like this: leading, major, essential, most important.
"Have a stellar day!"
So, is she telling people to have an astrological day? A starry day? Or is she wanting them to have a major day? Perhaps a primary one? Or what about a preeminent one?
She also just told a woman that she liked her shirt. Lady: Oh, thank you!
Sunshine: Do you know where you got it?
Lady: No, not sure, I've had it a while.
Sunshine: Oh, well, yours looks too big for me, anyway.
Aaaaaand, you just pissed off a highly botoxed stay-at-home Leawood mom. Just you wait until her philandering husband hears about this because when he does, I bet he'll wanna sleep with you too, Sunshine.
Next up, Target #2 is approaching slowly and in a very stealthy manner because her new size 6 Manolo Blahniks are just a wee bit tight and prolly rubbing a good blister on her actual size 9 feet.
Sunshine: Hi, welcome to Starbucks! I like your hair, did you change it?
Manolo wearer: No, I haven't done anything different to it.
Sunshine: Huh, well, I liked it better before.
Okaaay, and we have another one going down. Mayday! Mayday! Sunshine needs a quick recovery and we need to get this woman another pair of size 00 True Religions to squeeze her skeleton into!
Despite herself, Sunshine is really a pleasant person. She is constantly smiling and likes her job. Who wouldn't like a job where you have access to an array of pastries and a constant stream of caffeine? If I worked here, they'd lose a silly amount of profits cuz their newest trainee keeps eating the pound cake.
Moose likes Sunshine, he peed on her shoe and winked at her with his good eye. I like her too, 'cept I did neither of those things. Just gave her a dollar tip when I got my coffee.