I have no shame in admitting that I like "Jersey Shore". Does it seem silly that they just picked a group of random kids to put up in a beach house and film them partying and creating their own drama? Of course. But man, it's that kinda stuff that drives network ratings as well as appeals to so many Americans. Everyone wants to be all up in everyone else's business. So why not get a group of cuties, give them alcohol, add hormones, and then broadcast it all on the air.
I would bet that most people would say Snooki is by far the most entertaining character of them all. She carries that poof like no one else and I think someone should create a Twitter Account called Snookis_Poof; there would be so much of the inside scoop of Snooki's life, that we'd all be in on what really goes down when the cameras are off.
We'd have a fun "Situation" there, I think.
And to add to even more of that fun, I think Moose and Snookis_Poof would become the best of friends. Moose has no shame in displaying his life and every single aspect, so why not add a whole new level to the world of Jersey Shore??
Now, if Angelina decides to return, I'd bet money that once again she leaves because she's a conniving "dirty little hamster" who loves to stir the pot in the house. Not to mention, she lies through her teeth and can never take responsibility for her actions. But just as @tbeanmom pointed out on Tweetdeck the other day, she does have an offer to make a porn spoof of the show. @tbeanmom is TOTALLY on the up and up with what goes down on Jersey Shore. Not to mention, she's the amateur publicist for @TeamDJPaulyD...what devotion. I love it.
Moose is shaking his head at the thought of Angelina in a porn. I think he's over there in his kennel praying that it doesn't happen. He'd hate to have to take out his left eye, too, after having the retina seared from such a scary sexual travesty.
But Moose and Snooki? Yeah, that's about as awesome as it'd get on that show...the partying, the gossip, the slipper-wearing good times. And when Angelina pulls another one of her stunts, it's no second thought for Moose to just prance on over, take a dump in her shoes, and fart in her purse.
Moose would always have Snooki's back--she seems to have a good heart, a ton of energy, and he'd certainly be able to keep up. And what doesn't add to the energy of a bunch of Jersey kids, who tan, party, and live out their drama? A one-eyed wiener who doesn't listen, does whatever he wants, denies any boundaries, and acts like he owns the world.
Plus, he has 6-pack abs, tight glutes, and the same kinda smolder as The Situation. He's not down with the GTL, though--just the G. He doesn't need the T, he's already got a shiny soft coat that the perfect red color for a wiener. The L part? Dude runs around naked all day, who wouldn't love THAT life?
12 December 2010
08 December 2010
A little more on the serious side...
I never knew anything about Elizabeth Edwards until her husband's campaign as the vice president nominee alongside John Kerry. Even then I didn't pay as much attention to her as I did to what her husband's party's mission was during that time.
I paid a little more attention to her when it was in the news that she had been diagnosed with cancer. Not only that, but they also talked about the loss of their 16-year-old son in a car accident. Everyone has experienced some kind of loss in their life whether it is a parent, grandparent, sibling, friend, co-worker, or other relative.
I kinda got a little emotional watching the news the past couple of days and the way in which they talk about Elizabeth and the things she wanted to leave behind; those things that don't make her some kind of martyr but just doing the most simplest of things and realizing that the most important thing anyone can do is their best.
She had said in an interview that she didn't want her children to think of her as dying, but rather as living life in the best way that she could. Their family also never denied what it was that was happening and didn't make attempts at minimizing the situation.
I have a lot of admiration for a woman like that. She faced some major challenges in her life and while her distance after the loss of her son is certainly justified, she then made a decision to work through and take a direction in which she was going to try and make a difference.
As is typical of me, I will tend to reflect on my own life when I hear stories like that. As many people may know and some may not, probably the single most life-changing event in my life was the day I found out Matt, my fiance, had been killed in an automobile-pedestrian accident.
And I will forever be grateful for my sister, Olivia, taking the time to set up grief counseling for me. I'm not sure if I would have done that on my own, but I did agree to go. My first session was the worst and it took everything in my being to say to Robyn that he had died less than 2 weeks prior. I was certain that my life would never be good again.
Robyn asked me at one point, after some time had passed, if I still felt the same. By then I had this extremely strict routine down that I realized later was my way of trying to control everything else in my life because losing him made me feel like I was completely out of control. I felt totally helpless. I wanted some sense of having a hold of my life and learned that I was holding onto the wrong things. I had to change things within me and do some hard work; not expect things around me to change.
I told Robyn that I was really tired and I felt like I had aged a lot. I was 24 when he died. But I told her that I was determined enough to not be one of those who took this event and use it as a way to cultivate misery and self-pity. Matt had a ton of energy and sometimes it drove me crazy, but he had a great perspective on life that was not realized because he was sick or had had any major life event. He was just happy and recognized that being a good person and always trying to do the right thing were just a small part of living a quality life.
One thing that I will always remember about Elizabeth Edwards is that she said one of her saving graces besides her family and friends was her "faith in the power of resilience and hope." I think that's a huge statement of her character. I think that too often people don't believe in their own ability to survive or that they have the fortitude to actually move in a direction that will only lead to better things and a happier existence.
I remember I had one woman call me after Matt's death. She had lost her daughter several years ago and she called to tell me that things would only get worse. She said that she was still so angry and still didn't pray or anything since her daughter died. My thought:
"Bitch, you don't know me and don't think I'm anything like you. If you're calling to tell me that I will only become more miserable and sad, then you just wasted your time. I feel sorry for you that you have chosen to still think of yourself rather than what your daughter lived. Fuck you and your sorry existence."
I was so angry, it amazed me that people can come to you and say the things they say. She was not thinking of me but of herself. And I didn't ask for attention or anything, all I wanted to do was get through it and come out of it in a better place.
I've had other life experiences and I think that how you view your experiences is what determines who you are; you can either say, "Why me?" or you can say, "Bring it on because I'll conquer this one too."
I think Elizabeth Edwards made a tough decision in deciding to continue putting her life in a positive direction and not let the cancer consume her. She said that cancer would not keep her from living. I love that.
I've done a lot of work to be a different person since his death, and he is one who I think of often who I give credit to for being such a great example. He wasn't perfect by any means but he did his best and worked very hard to always move forward and to be better.
I think that the fact Elizabeth Edwards took the time to call family and friends when she found out that her treatment was no longer working was amazing. She wanted people to know they were important to her and she also wanted to make sure others were taken care of. I would bet that she even had plans in place for her funeral so that others would have less to worry about. She also took the time to write letters to her kids about what advice she felt would be important to them and also wanted to make the most of those days prior to her death. They played games and had fantastic moments while also allowing for tears. She was a realistic woman, yet not so stoic that she disallowed others to express their feelings or her own.
It'd be nice if everyone could live like that and always remember what it is that's important in life.
On a lighter note, Moose knows what's important: kisses, hotdog toys, dryer sheets, and fleece blankets in the winter.
I paid a little more attention to her when it was in the news that she had been diagnosed with cancer. Not only that, but they also talked about the loss of their 16-year-old son in a car accident. Everyone has experienced some kind of loss in their life whether it is a parent, grandparent, sibling, friend, co-worker, or other relative.
I kinda got a little emotional watching the news the past couple of days and the way in which they talk about Elizabeth and the things she wanted to leave behind; those things that don't make her some kind of martyr but just doing the most simplest of things and realizing that the most important thing anyone can do is their best.
She had said in an interview that she didn't want her children to think of her as dying, but rather as living life in the best way that she could. Their family also never denied what it was that was happening and didn't make attempts at minimizing the situation.
I have a lot of admiration for a woman like that. She faced some major challenges in her life and while her distance after the loss of her son is certainly justified, she then made a decision to work through and take a direction in which she was going to try and make a difference.
As is typical of me, I will tend to reflect on my own life when I hear stories like that. As many people may know and some may not, probably the single most life-changing event in my life was the day I found out Matt, my fiance, had been killed in an automobile-pedestrian accident.
And I will forever be grateful for my sister, Olivia, taking the time to set up grief counseling for me. I'm not sure if I would have done that on my own, but I did agree to go. My first session was the worst and it took everything in my being to say to Robyn that he had died less than 2 weeks prior. I was certain that my life would never be good again.
Robyn asked me at one point, after some time had passed, if I still felt the same. By then I had this extremely strict routine down that I realized later was my way of trying to control everything else in my life because losing him made me feel like I was completely out of control. I felt totally helpless. I wanted some sense of having a hold of my life and learned that I was holding onto the wrong things. I had to change things within me and do some hard work; not expect things around me to change.
I told Robyn that I was really tired and I felt like I had aged a lot. I was 24 when he died. But I told her that I was determined enough to not be one of those who took this event and use it as a way to cultivate misery and self-pity. Matt had a ton of energy and sometimes it drove me crazy, but he had a great perspective on life that was not realized because he was sick or had had any major life event. He was just happy and recognized that being a good person and always trying to do the right thing were just a small part of living a quality life.
One thing that I will always remember about Elizabeth Edwards is that she said one of her saving graces besides her family and friends was her "faith in the power of resilience and hope." I think that's a huge statement of her character. I think that too often people don't believe in their own ability to survive or that they have the fortitude to actually move in a direction that will only lead to better things and a happier existence.
I remember I had one woman call me after Matt's death. She had lost her daughter several years ago and she called to tell me that things would only get worse. She said that she was still so angry and still didn't pray or anything since her daughter died. My thought:
"Bitch, you don't know me and don't think I'm anything like you. If you're calling to tell me that I will only become more miserable and sad, then you just wasted your time. I feel sorry for you that you have chosen to still think of yourself rather than what your daughter lived. Fuck you and your sorry existence."
I was so angry, it amazed me that people can come to you and say the things they say. She was not thinking of me but of herself. And I didn't ask for attention or anything, all I wanted to do was get through it and come out of it in a better place.
I've had other life experiences and I think that how you view your experiences is what determines who you are; you can either say, "Why me?" or you can say, "Bring it on because I'll conquer this one too."
I think Elizabeth Edwards made a tough decision in deciding to continue putting her life in a positive direction and not let the cancer consume her. She said that cancer would not keep her from living. I love that.
I've done a lot of work to be a different person since his death, and he is one who I think of often who I give credit to for being such a great example. He wasn't perfect by any means but he did his best and worked very hard to always move forward and to be better.
I think that the fact Elizabeth Edwards took the time to call family and friends when she found out that her treatment was no longer working was amazing. She wanted people to know they were important to her and she also wanted to make sure others were taken care of. I would bet that she even had plans in place for her funeral so that others would have less to worry about. She also took the time to write letters to her kids about what advice she felt would be important to them and also wanted to make the most of those days prior to her death. They played games and had fantastic moments while also allowing for tears. She was a realistic woman, yet not so stoic that she disallowed others to express their feelings or her own.
It'd be nice if everyone could live like that and always remember what it is that's important in life.
On a lighter note, Moose knows what's important: kisses, hotdog toys, dryer sheets, and fleece blankets in the winter.
07 December 2010
22 November 2010
Thankfulness-a-miss-a-lat-a-narium-istical-ism
It's always this time of year that people want to say what they are thankful for and many times it's just the same stuff: family, friends, job, health, etc.
Moose and I made a list of things we're thankful for that may fall outside of that typical range. Here goes:
1) Moose is thankful for his hotdog. He loves that toy more than panties sometimes and has an average rate of 568 squeaks a minute. I'm thankful for 2 hands that sometimes need to take that toy away.
2) I'm thankful for a good vet who took excellent care of Moose when he had to have his right eye removed. Moose is thankful for all those shmucks who brought him treats afterwards. Overheard recently as my son was playing in the bathtub, "Hehe, man, that was the best scam ever...faking this glaucoma and gettin' my eye out. What a buncha suckers...hehe. Boo yah."
3) Moose is thankful for all the stuffing inside his toys. I'm thankful that his digestive system is able to eliminate the stuffing in a nice neat turd each time.
4) I'm thankful that while I manage to burn the rice at least once a week, I haven't burned down the house. Moose is thankful for his tiny fire blanket and tiny fire extinguisher.
5) Moose is thankful for our neighbors Juan and Rosa cuz Juan lets him pee on his work boots almost every time. I'm thankful that Rosa vacuums/cleans just about as often as I do.
6) I'm thankful for Victoria's Secret having a sale on panties. So is Moose.
7) Moose is thankful for apple pieces and baby carrots. I'm thankful that he eats clean cuz we don't buy junk food.
8) I'm thankful for how happy Moose is ALL THE TIME. (He's happy that I wrote that.)
9) We're both thankful for all the fun people in our lives and know we're fortunate that they put up with our total nonsense so gracefully.
10) We're both also thankful for all the future moments that we'll turn into all sorts grand adventures that really aren't true but we like to think it is because we like to think that so much happens to us and it all needs to be recorded and reported. And exaggerated.
This list could go on and is just a tiny drop in our large bucket of thankfulness. Right now, I'm thankful for the impeccable timing of Moose's bowels and his ability to pace frantically at the door until I take him out.
Moose and I made a list of things we're thankful for that may fall outside of that typical range. Here goes:
1) Moose is thankful for his hotdog. He loves that toy more than panties sometimes and has an average rate of 568 squeaks a minute. I'm thankful for 2 hands that sometimes need to take that toy away.
2) I'm thankful for a good vet who took excellent care of Moose when he had to have his right eye removed. Moose is thankful for all those shmucks who brought him treats afterwards. Overheard recently as my son was playing in the bathtub, "Hehe, man, that was the best scam ever...faking this glaucoma and gettin' my eye out. What a buncha suckers...hehe. Boo yah."
3) Moose is thankful for all the stuffing inside his toys. I'm thankful that his digestive system is able to eliminate the stuffing in a nice neat turd each time.
4) I'm thankful that while I manage to burn the rice at least once a week, I haven't burned down the house. Moose is thankful for his tiny fire blanket and tiny fire extinguisher.
5) Moose is thankful for our neighbors Juan and Rosa cuz Juan lets him pee on his work boots almost every time. I'm thankful that Rosa vacuums/cleans just about as often as I do.
6) I'm thankful for Victoria's Secret having a sale on panties. So is Moose.
7) Moose is thankful for apple pieces and baby carrots. I'm thankful that he eats clean cuz we don't buy junk food.
8) I'm thankful for how happy Moose is ALL THE TIME. (He's happy that I wrote that.)
9) We're both thankful for all the fun people in our lives and know we're fortunate that they put up with our total nonsense so gracefully.
10) We're both also thankful for all the future moments that we'll turn into all sorts grand adventures that really aren't true but we like to think it is because we like to think that so much happens to us and it all needs to be recorded and reported. And exaggerated.
This list could go on and is just a tiny drop in our large bucket of thankfulness. Right now, I'm thankful for the impeccable timing of Moose's bowels and his ability to pace frantically at the door until I take him out.
19 November 2010
A Moose of a workout (dedicated to Patrick)
Moose decided that since he turned a year old last week, he is ready to hit the gym with his mother. He summed it up nicely this morning as I was preparing my routine glutamine/BCAAs, coffee, protein, etc....
"Mother, since I have no balls, it might be good if I build some muscle. I think that if I eat these panties right here, it's a good pre-workout boost."
"So, you're saying that you've been getting a good pre-workout boost for about a year now..."
Anyway, I said it was ok, but that he had to stick with machines only and he wasn't allowed to use the free weights just yet. He has a tendency to run around like a little maniac exercising little control over his body so it would pose a great risk to throw him into any exercises that require strong proprioception.
When we got to the gym, I made sure Moose's velcro shoes were tight and that he had his tiny water bottle strapped around his waist. Then I told him he needed to warm up first to make sure he got the blood moving and increased his core temperature. That way he'd be much more productive during the workout. He said he'd jump rope cuz that's what all hardcore bodybuilders do to warm up.
"Honey, you're not a bodybuilder. You're a tiny wiener who wears velcro shoes and uses his hotdog toy as a pillow."
"Yeah, that does make me cooler than a bodybuilder, huh?"
After his warm-up I walked him over to a corner of the gym and had him start with some pushups. I was prepared to spot him but next thing I know he's cranked out 50 of them.
"It's cuz I got these tiny legs, 'member? I can only move a few cm at a time."
Anyway, so then we did a few more things to warm-up his legs. Some tiny squats, tiny lunges, and tiny jumping jacks. Then we moved on to the leg press machine--luckily, the gym had installed a tiny leg press machine for him at my request along with tiny weight plates also known as Cheerios. I got on the adult-size machine after strapping him into his machine.
I had him do a few reps and after about 5 of them he said, "Is it time for a snack?"
"No, not yet. Let's add a couple of Cheerios to your weight there and give me 5 more reps."
"Can I eat the Cheerios?"
"No, you can't eat them, those are your weights."
"But Patrick over there is eating brownies and he's gonna do some heavy squats. And I wanna look like that."
"He's a human, you can't look like that. But you can have some cute little glutes to show off."
Patrick comes over and says, "Moose! What's up bro?"
Aaaand then they chest bump.
"Did you guys just chest bump?"
"We did, Mother, cuz we're really masculine guys."
"Yeah, but you're 14 lbs, and stand 8 inches high. He's 6'3" and 220lbs. Big difference, babe."
"And we eat brownies and cheerios for post-workout meals, V."
"Patrick, don't teach my son those habits, he already poops stuffing."
Patrick then assisted my little boy with some bicep curls using a rubberband attached to a pencil.
Then those 2 proceeded to wrestle and Moose got Patrick to throw his hotdog toy about a million times while I could see that my son was well on his way to becoming a tiny beefcake.
"Mother, since I have no balls, it might be good if I build some muscle. I think that if I eat these panties right here, it's a good pre-workout boost."
"So, you're saying that you've been getting a good pre-workout boost for about a year now..."
Anyway, I said it was ok, but that he had to stick with machines only and he wasn't allowed to use the free weights just yet. He has a tendency to run around like a little maniac exercising little control over his body so it would pose a great risk to throw him into any exercises that require strong proprioception.
When we got to the gym, I made sure Moose's velcro shoes were tight and that he had his tiny water bottle strapped around his waist. Then I told him he needed to warm up first to make sure he got the blood moving and increased his core temperature. That way he'd be much more productive during the workout. He said he'd jump rope cuz that's what all hardcore bodybuilders do to warm up.
"Honey, you're not a bodybuilder. You're a tiny wiener who wears velcro shoes and uses his hotdog toy as a pillow."
"Yeah, that does make me cooler than a bodybuilder, huh?"
After his warm-up I walked him over to a corner of the gym and had him start with some pushups. I was prepared to spot him but next thing I know he's cranked out 50 of them.
"It's cuz I got these tiny legs, 'member? I can only move a few cm at a time."
Anyway, so then we did a few more things to warm-up his legs. Some tiny squats, tiny lunges, and tiny jumping jacks. Then we moved on to the leg press machine--luckily, the gym had installed a tiny leg press machine for him at my request along with tiny weight plates also known as Cheerios. I got on the adult-size machine after strapping him into his machine.
I had him do a few reps and after about 5 of them he said, "Is it time for a snack?"
"No, not yet. Let's add a couple of Cheerios to your weight there and give me 5 more reps."
"Can I eat the Cheerios?"
"No, you can't eat them, those are your weights."
"But Patrick over there is eating brownies and he's gonna do some heavy squats. And I wanna look like that."
"He's a human, you can't look like that. But you can have some cute little glutes to show off."
Patrick comes over and says, "Moose! What's up bro?"
Aaaand then they chest bump.
"Did you guys just chest bump?"
"We did, Mother, cuz we're really masculine guys."
"Yeah, but you're 14 lbs, and stand 8 inches high. He's 6'3" and 220lbs. Big difference, babe."
"And we eat brownies and cheerios for post-workout meals, V."
"Patrick, don't teach my son those habits, he already poops stuffing."
Patrick then assisted my little boy with some bicep curls using a rubberband attached to a pencil.
Then those 2 proceeded to wrestle and Moose got Patrick to throw his hotdog toy about a million times while I could see that my son was well on his way to becoming a tiny beefcake.
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